Welcome to my website!
I'm Gary Ryan, author of Blessings in Disguise: A Tale of Redemption.

About the Author.                                           Through missteps and lack of control, I acquired a serious antisocial attitude which, along with alcohol and drug abuse, resulted in an array of unpleasant consequences. I've lost track of how many times I was arrested. Fortunately, I finally began to listen to the people who cared enough to tell me what I needed to know and I began to trudge the road of happy destiny. I wanted to share those lessons just in case you, or someone you know, could be looking for a way out.

Unless the nightmare is strong enough to wake you up...you go right on sleeping. Words on my painting of the same name.

Introduction:                                                                                                             There have been three titles for this book. First was "Hoping to Wise Up." That's what I had in mind while writing this book and that title held throughout the entire first draft. Then the rewrites began, and I was amazed at the number of changes and corrections that took place with each rewrite. Everybody should write a book so they can have this experience: no matter how good you think something is, it can always get better.

On the fourth time through the book, I changed the title to "Escape from Hell Forever (A How-to Guide)." I had wised up enough to realize I had indeed escaped from hell, albeit, a hell of my own making (an important distinction) and I would never be returning, not with what I now know. So long as I don't forget what I've learned, my escape will be forever.

My new world has a deeper sense of peace than ever before. Old fears and anxieties continue to demand my attention, but they are feeble attempts, and I deal with stressful situations with a new awareness and gentleness.

Sometime back I took a break from drawing and painting to "assemble" a work of art using a two-foot piece of corroded copper sheeting with a glob of roofing tar on it in the shape of a question mark. The thing was lying in the trash on a construction site, and I just had to bring it home. I stood it up on end with the help of some broken pieces of wallboard, attached a treasured Chinese figurine and a billiard ball, the nine ball, and called it "How Do I Discover My Purpose?" In fact, I lettered those words across the bottom. The answer that came to me was a Bible verse, Matthew 6:33: "Seek ye first the Kingdom within and all else will be added" (KJV). I had heard this many times before, so it wasn't news to me, but now that I had asked the question, I began to recognize its meaning at a deeper level. My purpose--my duty as a human being--was to become a seeker after truth, the kingdom within. To my delight, this turned out to be the secret of happiness for me. As a wise man once said, "Go within or go without." Everything becomes meaningful and useful for achieving this goal. I've even heard it said that the entire universe and everything in it was created for this one purpose: to help us in our return to God, Truth, Reality--whatever you want to call it. Even times of discomfort are useful, and here is some especially good news: discomfort is used by a seeker only to bring the need for correction into awareness. Suffering is gone. Those whips of karma that ultimately drove me to seek the true meaning of life had served their purpose, and now, if I should be looking down the wrong road, it only takes a slight disturbance to get my attention. I don't have to meet that eight-hundred pound gorilla hiding behind the bush. I know where to find the help I need.

Most days it is remarkably easy, but some days I have to work at it. Like today. Today, someone I trusted was surprisingly hostile toward me and there was nothing I could do or say to stop it except to walk away--remove myself from the situation. Then I had to pick up a painting of mine, "A Little Willingness," which had been rejected from a juried exhibit. No artist likes to be rejected, particularly when he thought he was doing them a favor by entering their exhibit in the first place. They must not have had the time to look closely enough, because there's a lot more going on in that painting than is obvious at first glance. After that I called a customer who owed me money, and he didn't answer his phone--again. And right now, the neighbor's dogs are barking like crazy for about the tenth time today. If I was looking for excuses to throw up my hands and say to hell with it, these would probably suffice.

For too many years I used drugs and alcohol to assuage my discomfort. It wasn't until I choose differently and stopped medicating myself that I could find the answers I was seeking. It turns out the discomforts I was so eager to avoid were blessings in disguise. The discomforts were bringing the need for correction into my awareness. They were the blocks in the wall separating me from my True Self. Remove the blocks, and happiness is revealed. That's what I'm up to now. I am accessing the strength and peace that abides within me and within each and every one of us, at all times, with no exceptions. All we have to do is ask for it and then accept it. It helps to sit quietly and close your eyes when you do this, although it can be done right in the middle of the "discomfort." That would be close to the ultimate. I haven't always been successful, but I'm working on it. One thing I am sure of, there will be another chance. That's the beauty of it. As spiritual students, we will get the opportunity to choose again, and we hope that we will choose right this time, so we can move on to what's next.

It is God's will that we be raised to the highest pinnacle of perfection and bliss. How about that! We should shout it from the rooftops. It's the Truth.

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